Either Way, We Show Up

By Troy M. Pearsall

2 min read

Notice where I am writing this. I am in my parents' house. My father taught physics. My mother taught English. They are in the next room. Being in front of your elders is a different thing.

Notice where I am writing this. I am in my parents' house. My father taught physics. My mother taught English. They are in the next room. Being in front of your elders is a different thing. I have a motorcycle license because of a T-shirt. My uncle gave it to me for Christmas. We were both grown men, and he is only five years older than I am. I knew what that shirt meant. It was an offer. A shirt does not give you the right to wear it. I took a class in Virginia, as an adult, and then I had the license and a bike. When I drove an RV from Virginia to Florida with my wife and kids, I stopped at every Harley-Davidson shop. I bought twenty-two shirts. One for me, and one for him. He has every shirt I have. My kids were in the RV. They saw me do it. That is how it got handed down. My father taught me how to sail. My uncle taught me algebra, and how to cook. None of them had to. We drop into the world. Nobody asks which house, which language, which year. Hopefully there is a family waiting. Sometimes it is the one you were born into. Sometimes it is a man who looks at a family that is not yet his and decides it is. I have been given both kinds, and I have never been able to tell them apart by how they show up. Either way, we show up. But showing up is only the first half. After you showed up, you were trained to earn it. Being handed something does not make it yours. You have to earn it. Then you offer it back, and someone is watching. If nobody has shown up for you yet, you go first. Show up for someone smaller, or someone who looks lost, or someone who is a few years behind you. Teach one thing. Offer one shirt. You will not see whether they earn it, and that was never the deal. The deal is that it gets handed on, and mostly it is handed on by being seen. ## What to ask 1. **Who showed up for you without being asked?** Name them. 2. **What were you offered that you still had to earn?** The offer was theirs. The earning was yours. 3. **Who is the next person?** Someone is a few years behind you right now.